I was disciplined…

I need something to write about. So, how about this: I was disciplined. Kinda like in school – in front of fourty people – while they all looked at me. I was bad.
In poker, there are rules. Rules needing special attention especially when playing in a professional game, out of town, with strangers, within a national tour format, and a professional dealer.
I broke a rule and was disciplined. I will keep writing that sentence because I was bad. Line over line on the chalkboard until I learn my lesson. The tournament director pulled me aside and gave me a fifteen minute timeout.
Want to know the particulars, don’t you?
Let’s eliminate the obvious “non-reasons”:
1. I didn’t kiss the dealer
2. I didn’t swear, nor was I drunk
3. I didn’t take all my clothes off
4. I didn’t hug any other player
5. I did tell one bad joke
6. No inappropriate hand gestures
So, as you can see… everything was, well, kinda ok … until this … one … little .. thing.
Texas hold-em isn’t too complicated. You get two cards dealt to you, then, through a series of this-that-and-the-other-thing you end up with those two cards (no one else sees) and five face up cards in the middle everyone else in the hand gets to use.
Until the hand is over – actually, until it’s required of you to do so – the two cards are shown. In the event no other player is remaining but you, the cards can remain unseen. Got it. Good.
Easy rules. Unless you’re me and don’t pay attention to who is left in the hand. I’ll make this as easy as possible: I turned over my two cards too soon. Period. Bad, bad man I was. I broke a rule and was disciplined.
Now, this doesn’t seem like it was an big deal, right? Oh, contrair, my dear reader.
You think a star sucked into a black hole is a big deal? You think the beginning of bio-genesis, or, nuclear energy changed the world? Einstein? Trump? Kennedy?….well, let me tell YOU!!
The pre-exposure of a King and Jack of diamonds IS a big deal requiring the extrication of a bad man from the premises by two squeaky little (very nice) men with official badges at the end of kinda cute little lanyards.
I was escorted to the hallway for a ten minute time-out which is (btw) a standard penalty for such an infraction. I broke a rule and was disciplined.
Now, even though I did such a thing, I was still eligible to win the chips. My King and Jack were still in the hand, but eventually lost. The penalty applied only to me – not my chips. Somehow THEY got a pass. Not fair. Not fair at all!!🤷🏻‍♂️
I spent the time in the hallway contemplating my error (not), asking the universe for atonement (not), pleading to the director for forgiveness (not), and sipping a soda texting a good friend (am) until my graceful entrance back into the poker parlor was welcomed.
Which it was.
Which I exited ten minutes later after getting a bad hand dealt – played well – but bad cards vs great cards. Good news, though … the hand I lost wasn’t pre-exposed. I was a good boy. Shoulda kissed the dealer. At least that would have been a better reason to be kicked out. THAT would have been a better rule to break, huh?

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