God’s Apolitical Mess

… and it’s not His fault. If you believe in a higher power or not, this political sh*t storm is not it’s problem or a mysterious blob’s doing. “God’s a political mess.” or, “This is God’s apolitical mess.” Oh, how I love that wee little space in between.

I just closed Seth Andrew’s YouTube video, “The Evangelical Election Meltdown”. He so amusingly compiles snippets of extreme right-wing believers calling down the ever-knowing E.T. Powers (my made-up name for the all-denominational, divine minister), in the name of Jesus, God, and the holy spirit. Why? Well, to squelch the evils of Democratic leaning, pre-election voters to influence the results in favor of …. Trump. Shocker there, right?

I would encourage you to find that video in between trying to survive this pandemic. Survival defined by them as praying, of course – oh, and donating money … although not mentioned, but surely expected. Clearly, in the minds of these lunatics in the videos Seth features, it is far better for you to spend time in a group of like-far-edge-of the sane universe minded folk than, say, help out at a food bank or donate time to your local church. Kenneth Copland’s spaceship has room for one more. Price of boarding? Your willingness to appease the insanity of the extreme right-wing ideology of total Trumpism and the insertion of God into every. Single. Sentence.

Like He, it, or the blob really cares. If so, God’s a political mess.

Please, have your faith. Have your God, church, bible, holy book and religion. This isn’t a slight against most of us … believers and non-believers. It is an absolute basket of rotten tomatoes being thrown at the minority of shouters in the pulpit who claim to know a God who says, “I love all Republican politicians because they stand vehemently against abortions and gay marriage.” Oh, ok. Thanks for that insight. Speak to me from the mountain tops, thy bloviating buffoons, as you very likely stand behind a wizard’s curtain of hypocrisy.

Go ahead, give a God the Scarlett R. If so, God’s a political mess and you own that position bestowed upon the blob’s coat of, oh no … apparently, one color: Blue.

UH,OH!! It, she, or (?) didn’t help you out. E.T. Powers – with all the infinite wisdom and divine intercession – decided to wield the magic iron rod in favor of … wait for it … a Democrat! The anti-Trump. The pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, decent family guy. Sure, he’s a normal guy with normal problems who’s been saddled with 47 years of governmental horse sh*t most of his adult life. Yes, he’s old. Yes, he was #2 for eight years. All that and then some. Oh, and he’s not a “smart, brilliant business man”, either. Maybe these are the reasons why E.T. Powers clicked heels in favor of him.

Or, maybe God just didn’t care and left all this up to us? Maybe all the wrangling about by those sermon-spitters didn’t make one bit of difference to an Apolitical being. A blob looking at us, thinking, “What a bunch of goofy, think-they-know-it-alls. Wow. I see these few manipulators controlling the vulnerable, taking … err … robbing them of their time and precious resources for what? A moment of glory for themselves? Self-righteous bastards, they are. To think their interpretation of my will is absolute truth molded into their desired outcome? To say it is blasphemous is even giving them too much credit.”

Boy, am I uncomfortable mixing politics and religion? Sure … especially in a blog where puppies, guppies, and rainbows are easier words to type.

Just today, I’ve reached that point where the hot air balloon of political insanity is leaving Oz and I want to wake up in a comfortable, sane White House again. A house where religious far-right fanaticism has melted away into the floor of acceptable behavior. There has to be a base of normalcy – a bottom line where the Republican party stands for something other than this extreme anti-everything-that-seems-to-not-be-supported-in-the-bible platform. Granted, Kenneth Copland and his ilk are good for a laugh, but he is not widely condemned, nor are his contemporaries mentioned in Seth Andrew’s video. Throw in a healthy dose of Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Fox News? … there’s plenty of God waving in the crowd.

Is Joe Biden the answer to our woes in the midst of a pandemic? I don’t know. Is the 25th amendment in play? Geesh, I hate that stupid, politically baited argument. Get over yourself, election deniers. There may have been tampering … oh, and what makes you think it didn’t happen on the R side of the ballots? We’re gonna be ok, folks.

All this written from the fingers of a registered Republican, church pianist, and marginal believer in the existence of an E.T. who controls the destiny of all time and space. It’s a weird time, for sure, and that little space between the A and P still fascinates me. God’s a political mess, or this is God’s apolitical mess? Damned if I know.

There’s a place to find the answer, however. Sure wish I lived closer to Kenneth Copland’s church. Oh, wait! I’ll text him. Nah, not good enough. I want an in person meeting. Darn tootin’ he could probably send up one of his private planes to pick me up! Oh, wait. Shoot. That won’t work. I never sent him any money last time he asked, so I’m screwed.

Welp. So be it. The blob will need to sort it all out. After January 20th, 2021, though.

The Fall of (a) Man

It almost happened this morning. Dew not try this at home, I say. The hustle of time combined with an early morning mist – atop the carpet of leaves covering my porch steps – was a slippery soul waiting for my arrival. Fortunately, a past experience grabbed a hurried back collar by the neck of time. I was lucky.

A few years back, not so much. I’m still creaking along with a dislocated/injured disc from flapping down on these same steps. A sunny, less wet day … yet in the same uncontrolled, fast-paced, inattentive manner I approached the descent … and missed. Thinking all was fine (male trait), I went on my way. A bit sore, but hoping the pain would subside – which it sort-of did after a few days, I lived my life quite contently believing a quasi-sore back was just age. Male being male, right?

Uhm, not so much. After months + years of this, I had tests done … and … well, I have the bad news, bad back, issues to this day. Still living with it and that is what saved me from sure slippery this morning. Alarm bells rang, mindful memories magnified, and I stopped momentarily to think through the situation. “Wet leaves + Steps + Doug in a hurry = Hospital” … An equation nobody needs to figure out right now.

All this to say that picture above is the pile at the bottom of the stairs. A pile I most likely would have landed in had a tumble occurred only a few short hours ago. Certainly a Genesis-ical chapter to define rest of my life had it happened. The fall of this man in a season of unsure events and unpredictable happenings … for possibly all of us as well as I think through the past 10 months of 2020.

Welcome to the near end of 2020 – an end we are looking forward to as a group of 325 million loving, caring, crying, compassionate people. We’ve tripped over societal problems, stomped on issues long since ignored, slid on slippery slopes of ignorance and bigotry, stood on patriotism and pride, walked happily in the steps of heroes, and tred lightly through a pandemic’s science and political maze of unknowns … all the while, we survived and, sadly, at the time of this writing, 225,212 Americans have not.

I am not taking any sides here. I am, however, looking forward to the end of a political fall season guaranteed not to end on November 3rd. It’s been a side-stepping, two-step dance of ridiculousness the past few months. Our feet are calloused and legs pretty sore from carrying both liberal and conservative crosses across party plank floors … over and over on idealistic shoulders. The most decisive thing about November 4th? … it will be the day after November 3rd. The fall of 2020.

I didn’t go down this morning so, hopefully, the ten weeks remaining will be upbeat and pleasant. I’ll vote … and wait. I’ll keep masking, social distancing, and washing my hands all the time as recommended by the CDC. You dew what you dew, ok?

Take steps to be the best you you can be – and don’t take the steps ahead that are dangerous. I need you to be here for all of us. It’s a challenging time to be alive. One life, like yours, is too valuable to leave to chance, so watch your step.

I did. Leaves (0) + Doug (1) = One happy day. Now, that’s math I can live with.