I’m at a funeral this morning. Another casket, one more service behind the organ. More hymns than normal for my friend who died. She requested my “organized pianistic” presence at her pre-final rest service here. I’m honored to be a part.
A part, here, with the living. Old and young, big and tall. We’re here celebrating a life. This life of a Pastor well lived .. and given back through an eleven year vessel lined with stage four ovarian cancer.
Yet, we are still here.
I, in some small part, provide the music. An “Alleluia” prelude at the keyboard followed by six hymns and two liturgical snippets. For Pastor Denise, these are. For the congregants and Pastors all in attendance who are here paying respects to their friend and colleague, I play.
This is not the first, nor last, funeral I will play. I’ve had three grandparents, a mom, and countless others. A dad will follow along if I live a normal span of years and this church will require my end of lives’ services in the future as well.
“Funerals and the Living”, always brushes across my mind when passing by parlor doors open to a closed casket. In this same spot, I held my mom’s clasped hands eleven years ago hours before her viewing. Thinking a variation of the same thought, “I am living at your funeral … what is this?” … it was, truly, an odd, dichotomous feeling. Death and life two feet apart, but love unchanged. Cold, yet warm. Energy still present. Holding hands … a connection I feel to this day.
Mom and I are pianists. This is quite possibly the bridge between her funeral and my living existence today. Holding keyboard hearts and hands – over 4,000 sunsets after her passing. I think of her each time my fingers begin funeral Preludes. It is what is right and necessary to allow a mom’s mourning sunrise to reach those who need a connection with their lost soul.
“Funerals and the Living”. The funeral viewing and service – a small arc of the circle that is a death process the living must go through. It is sad and possibly necessary if wanted by the family and deceased. The circle … a burial or spreading of ashes to follow, perhaps. The circle … therapy for the living if needed. The circle … estate issues, etc …
Maybe the circle never ends. I don’t know. My “mom circle” never closed.
As it stands now – one hour and fifteen minutes since this writing started and the service for Pastor Denise began as well – I was able to express my thoughts here between six hymns, a smattering of liturgical responses, a sermon, scripture readings, and a eulogy.
Mom has been with me all along. She always is. Every funeral. Always. Funerals help me live. They help mom stay alive as well …
I’m at a funeral this morning. So glad I am not alone.
You are not alone either when arriving at a loved one’s funeral. Yes, the living are by your side in the pew as eulogies are spoken and hymns sung. Visitors offer hugs in the midst of drowning tears.
In the quiet chambers of your heart, the one who passed through this life still occupies memories. Remarkable memories unique to you – and only you – serve as reminders of times when life was lived to its fullest … with them by your side.
Funerals reflect life back to us. Pastor Denise reminds me, today in her death, I am not alone.
In death, Mom and Pastor Denise live this day. As always.
DougHugs 